


Humans Can Have Uncertainty

by VotumStellarum



Series: The Only Five Humans [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Banter, Defenders of the Universe can handle a few dick jokes, Dick Jokes, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Innuendo, Insecurity, M/M, Miscommunication, Morning, Rendered Useless by Science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 18:04:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9396839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VotumStellarum/pseuds/VotumStellarum
Summary: Two days after Humans Who Read Altean --In the time since the last mission, it seems that Lance has taken a blow to his ego, Hunk has made a major discovery, Pidge has collected more data, and Keith is just now hearing about any of this.  Coran and Allura learn something new about humans, and Shiro is challenged, but again, manages not to facepalm.





	

**Author's Note:**

> // Keith and Lance are still figuring out how to handle what happened between them while maintaining decorum in front of the team. These two are a work-in-progress.

Inside the Castle of Lions the lighting adjusted to “Morning Mode”, signaling that the sleep cycle was near ending.

Keith had already been awake and training for about 30 minutes when he noticed it, then ended the program and left the deck, heading for the dining room where the others were scheduled to join before a mission.

“Ooohh, look who's up early.”

When the door opened and Keith entered, a voice floated through the dining room, “...I thought you’d sleep in again after last night.”

Keith immediately felt a little warmer. He surveyed the room to find no one else had arrived yet. Lance was alone, already sitting at the table with a cup of some warm, aromatic drink.

“I'm not even tired,” Keith replied. He nearly added ‘ _I can go another round right now if you can_ ’, but he stopped himself, deciding that was better left unspoken.   He turned away to get a bowl so his smile went without eye contact, but given what happened before they slept yesterday he figured Lance should be able to catch the subtext anyway.

He usually aimed to be seen as a steadfast, stoic fighter pilot, but Keith enjoyed taking jabs at the taller, goofier pilot on his team. Lance was magnetic; maybe the contrast between his uninhibited confidence and his comedic timing drew Keith in.  Or maybe how Lance boldly faced his own vulnerability in situations where Keith knew he would prefer to hide it.  For every time Keith teased Lance, there were at least three or four times he secretly wanted to see that cocky smile turn sweet, or hear a terrible pun make him flushed, or simply get more attention from the Blue Paladin.

It was on Keith’s mind especially today because about five days ago he ran into Lance in the open shower and tension escalated quickly. A day or so later Shiro gave the team a lecture-slash-pep talk about handling pent up frustration. Which meant it had been about three days since their encounter in his bunk, and less than 10 hours since he finally got that necklace Lance owed him. Keith was already thinking about what next to give in return.

Right now, as he stood in the dining room, Keith didn't deny that the Blue Paladin made his pulse quicken. He accepted that he was hooked on his teammate-recently-turned-unintentional-pornstar, Lance.  And yet that's exactly why Keith consciously put effort to locking this down -- he held back a whole range of emotions to avoid making the other teammates uncomfortable, and attraction to Lance was one of the more difficult, but Keith was disciplined about it.

However at this moment, at this breakfast table, they were alone. Keith let himself smile a little warmer at Lance, who he noticed was focused on the drink, surprisingly quiet.

 

“Are you really awake? This is where I’d expect you to make a joke about tiring me out before lunch.”

Lance gave a slight smile and a sigh. “Did I give you the impression I’m a ravenous horndog who can’t stop thinking about sex?”

Keith paused, noting the tone reminded him of homesick Lance. He lowered his brows a touch to reply, “Did I give you the impression I’m not?”

Lance sat upright, eyes widening. Before any more words formed between them the door slid open. Hunk appeared, shuffling slowly into the room.

“Whoa…” Lance stood up in his chair, suddenly pulled away from his own tired mood by the sight of a friend who might be struggling even more. “I cannot believe I beat you to breakfast! Hunk, dude, are you okay?”

“Yep. Yep, I'm fine. Actually I feel reeeeaaally good. That was the BEST sleep I’ve had since, like, ever...” Hunk schlepped over to a chair next to Lance and they both sat, “...until the alarm went off and I was like ‘uuughhhh’ and had to pull myself together to get here.”

“Together isn't the word I'd use, Hunk, you're still like ‘uugghh’,” Keith commented as he took a chair across from Lance.

“You’re right, I’ll stop pretending to be awake. The ‘uuuggghhh’ continues until further notice.”

“Why’re you so tired? What’d you do last night after we were dismissed?” Lance didn’t think his question was unreasonable, but after it came a very loaded pause, during which Hunk slowly raised his head, then replied as if he didn't hear it.

“Dude, what’re you drinking?”

“Closest thing we have to coffee I guess. Coran called it a ‘make-you-cheerful’ drink. I didn’t get to sleep till late last night, so he offered it before we head out.”

“Speaking of _last night_ …” Keith let that sentence hang until Hunk felt inspired to finish it.

“Oh, last night, guys,” Hunk began, “...We’re friends so I’m just gonna tell you the truth, okay? No judgement. Yesterday...”  Hunk took a deep breath, raising one hand over his eyes as if stepping out into a desert storm. “Yesterday, you guys… oh man, okay...”

Impatiently, Lance cut him off with a wild guess. “The device Pidge built! You found it? Oh my god, did you USE it?!”

Hunk made a face that was clearly a positive and gestured loosely but neither Keith nor Lance understood until he assembled a few more words.

“So. First of all. Pidge was right, we NEVER would have guessed by looking at it. It’s designed to look dangerous. But it's completely safe and sweet cheese and crackers, it’s amazing.”

Keith and Lance exchanged looks, then Lance carefully constructed a different question. “Sooo, um, if it worked on Pidge... and then it worked on you too... I'm guessing it must be… _adjustable_?”

“Oh totally.” Hunk sat back in the chair. “We have more testing to do and I’m a little worried about how it’ll interface with Galra tech so we have to be careful with Shiro but--.”

“ _ **Testing**_? Who's ‘WE’?!”

“You’re planning to use that thing on SHIRO?!”

Lance and Keith raised their voices over each other, but both already knew the answers to their own questions. Hunk leaned forward, elbows on the table, slowly sliding further.

“Well, not me, Pidge wants to use it on Shiro. I was against the idea at first, but maybe it’s worth trying. Before that I think we need to design some emergency shutoff, but I'm sure I can build and test it if I have a day or two...”

All three of them turned when the door slid open and the Green Paladin appeared with a tablet and notebook computer in hand.

“Hey, hey.  You two are fully clothed this morning. Congrats.”

Neither Keith nor Lance were prepared to respond to that, so they simply watched Pidge set the equipment on the table and take a bowl. “So, Hunk, how are you feeling?”

“Fantastic but also sort of hating everything about the concept of time right now. You?”

“My stats are normal. Let me measure your blood pressure again.”

“Pidge, you realize what your machine has done, don't you?” Lance asked in a tone very much like a statement.

"Impressive, right?" Pressing a small sensor to the inside of Hunk’s elbow, Pidge stood by his side watching the numbers. "I think the effect is so pronounced because Hunk is possibly the most tense person here. Releasing all of it at once was pretty spectacular.”

“ _Spectacular..?_ ” Keith repeated quietly, then added, “Were you _watching_ while he…”

“Of course I was watching. I was _doing it_. Obviously.”

“ **You were doing _what?_** ” - “ **How is that obvious??** ”  

Keith and Lance replied at the same time, Hunk slouched completely forward on his arms to rest his forehead on the table.

Pidge let out a mild sigh, “Hunk, did you tell them you could use the machine by yourself?”

“NOPE,” Hunk raised his head just enough to speak, “Nope, nope, noooo, I didn’t say anything except I wish I were in bed right now. They guessed the rest and probably assumed I was alone since I don’t normally invite friends to watch that kind of thing really.”

Removing the sensor, Pidge gave a hearty clap on Hunk’s shoulder, “You and I more than just friends, aren't we? We're _lab partners!_ ”

Lance consciously lowered his pitch to sound calmer. “And your lab partner can’t even muster the energy to walk over to the food dispenser right now... b-because…”

“Because we ran tests until he was completely spent.  I expected something like that... Was it six times total? ...I'm not sure if I count the last one because we couldn't get a sample, but overall I'm pretty satisfied with that trial,” Pidge took a seat next to Keith, across from Lance and Hunk.

“I count the last one. It definitely happened.” Hunk spoke, forehead against the table again.

“Wow, _six ti--_ ”. Keith held back a laugh, ready to confirm he didn't doubt Pidge had the skill to render the Yellow Paladin useless-- but he aborted that sentence when he noticed Lance make eye contact and shift in his seat.

“Okay, so what IS this thing?” Lance asked.

“It a circulatory stimulator.” Pidge proudly explained, “It works by directing blood flow to specific nerve endings in varying degrees. Once the tissue around the nerve endings is swollen, even just a puff of air can produce sizable reaction. Think of it like a primer.”

“We tried this one method that made it feel like I dunked my hand in water even though there was none anywhere! At low settings, it's just like a massage, but at higher settings it can alter specific neurosignals.” Hunk added.

“The original goal was acute physical therapy and it does that too." Pidge continued explaining through spoonfuls, "I’ve already tested it on myself enough to establish the baseline settings, but my body mass impedance is the lowest of anyone on the ship. After the talk Shiro gave us a few days ago, I figured it was fine to expand the trial focus.”

“Which, by the way,” Hunk piped up, “is how I got involved. I agreed to be a test subject for the _**therapeutic functions,**_ okay...”

“Hunk, we all know how you wanted to use it. We were there.” Keith wasn't buying the innocent scientist act.

“Well, he's not lying... Heh, Hunk was too shy to do anything but physical therapy for the first couple of trials.  It took some work for me to get him down on his knees so--”

“ _ **Guys**_ ,” Hunk interrupted, clearing his throat, directing his attention to Keith and Lance, “Let's not get hung up on  _this particular effect_ , okay. This device is ALSO ultra effective on muscle and joint injuries, and unlike the healing pods, we can take it with us.  If you get a cramp in your leg, with this it's an easy fix and then boom! No more pain! You see?”

Keith, Lance and Pidge each glanced to another briefly.

“Sounds like a good way to make use of it,” Keith shrugged.

“Sounds like NOT the way you made use of it last night,” Lance directed to Hunk.

“Well, you could just say the leg we used it on didn't have a cramp,” Pidge interjected, “It was just _really stiff_.”

**_“AAAAHH.” - “NIIICE, GOOD ONE” - “PIDGE WHYYY”_ **

Keith, Hunk and Lance simultaneously reacted, and all together the sudden outburst was loud enough to startle Allura when the dining room door slid open.

 

“My goodness, Paladins, what's going on in here?” Allura entered, already in suit for piloting the castle, followed closely by Coran and Shiro, who spoke up next.

“Team, what's all the yelling about?”

“ **Nothing** ,” all four of them united to reply which made the claim even less convincing.

“You know I don't believe that for a tic.”

Pidge shrugged, taking a quick bite after answering. “It really WAS nothing. I just made a joke about Hunk’s genitals, which are apparently worth shouting about.”

“Did you say his genitals?” Coran piped up.

“No, Coran, don't!!” Allura reached out to protect him, and everyone else held perfectly still, wondering _from what_. “Pidge, what are you doing?!”

 

Pidge blinked back. No one moved and all five humans likely felt the same awkward pause extended longer than it actually did.

Shiro sighed audibly.

“Um, Hunk, are you alright?” Allura shot a pointed glance to each of the humans in the room. “Perhaps I’m mistaken, but I… I had the impression people of Earth only mentioned their sex organs when issuing a... mating ritual... challenge.”

Coran spoke up, “You know on some planets that kind of talk leads to a **DUEL to the DEATH**! We certainly can't have that among the Paladins of Voltron! We’ll remove everyone's genitals if we have to!”

“ ** _NOPE,_** we’re not doing that...” Shiro's voice was resolute, “For humans it's not a matter of life and death. It’s just… not polite conversation.”

“But it's completely okay if you're really good friends.” Pidge laughed, "In fact, I once heard someone say sexuality is _part of being human and nothing to be ashamed about_."

"Mm, I heard that too." Keith added between bites.

Lance chimed in, “Princess, we've known each other long enough now, you should always feel free to ask me about m--”

“ _ **LANCE.**_ ”

Both Shiro and Keith interrupted, then looked to each other, surprised. Keith was certain his face felt warmer from stepping on Shiro's line, but was relieved when a voice muffled against the table drew everyone’s attention away from him.

“Yeah, I'm fine... And we are, after all, defenders of the universe. I should hope any of us can handle a dick joke or two. Really.”

Shiro leaned back against a cabinet, arms crossed and one thumb to his chin as his hand almost covered his mouth.  

“Guys, we might want to work on lowering either the _volume_ or the _frequency_ of these conversations.”  He kept his voice authoritative, but his face betrayed that he might have been amused.

Keith leaned back against his chair.  "Seems like lately there's an increase in dick activity all around."

"Oh jeez--" Hunk made a sound like cringing laughter, as Pidge shot back.

"Is that a reference to Lance...?"

Keith and Lance both gaped, red-faced, stunned into silence for a beat; but fortunately Pidge continued before either tried to stammer any reply.

"...because he's _always_ been a dick, I've seen no evidence of significant change lately."

"O-oh yeah, well..." Lance lined up a rebuttal, then smiled for his flawless delivery, "...Well, you're just being a brat 'cause you've got  _dick envy~_ "

"Ooh, Lance, that..." Hunk pulled himself up, "...I think that might be the most appropriate-given-the-situation come back I've ever heard from you."

Shiro took a deep breath in, chin nearly touching his sternum. Keith and Pidge added on.

"Yeah, wow."

"Okay, I'll give you a point, that IS a good one."

Allura following along, spoke up over her cup of cheerful drink, “So, to be sure I understand, 'dick' is another word for human sex, is it?”

“No, it's just a nickname some humans use for the most obvious male appendage.” Pidge offered helpfully. “Many people who have dicks still have NO sex...  And by the way, that _IS_ a reference to Lance.”

" _Hahaaaa_ , nice..." Hunk laughed, and Pidge grinned, but Keith couldn't come up with any words to help his under-appreciated teammate that wouldn't incriminate himself.  He avoided eye contact and felt some gratitude for Lance enduring it silently.

“I see. Well in any case, that's a relief!” Allura smiled brightly, “I’m so glad to know humans aren't all as stuffy as I thought. I was fearful of causing an intergalactic incident, _hahaha…_ ”

Coran checked a clock, walked towards the door, and Allura followed, "Yes, it's almost time.  I'll prepare to command from the bridge so good luck out there!  Return safely, everyone!"

As they left, Coran whispered to Allura,  “Princess, even if it doesn't start a duel, you probably shouldn't laugh at their sex organs anyway…”

“Oh, I try my best, goodness.  But have you seen them?? They're shaped like a tegre fruit!” Allure gestured, thoroughly amused by the image in her mind, “and they turn a shade of reddish-purple when they swell up, it's just adorable.”

“I’ll trust your word on that, but I've met many species who…” The voice of Coran disappeared when the door closed behind them.

 

The four pilots sitting at the table looked to each other, as though communicating telepathically and neither acknowledging nor denying how much of that they heard.  Pidge, then Hunk, then Keith, then Lance looked over to Shiro still leaning against the counter.  Finally Pidge saved them from the silence.  

"Okay, I have something to confess... Of all the bodily substances Hunk has involuntarily thrown out at us, last night's was definitely my favorite.”

Hunk and Pidge both broke into laughter followed by fist bump, and Shiro threw Pidge a sideways glance in the style usually reserved for Lance.

But at that moment, Keith noticed Lance had locked his eyes on the cup. He wondered briefly, _was Lance embarrassed by this conversation?_  No way, he must be thinking about something else.

“And I'd just like to point out that while I'm not offended _per se_ ,” Hunk interjected. “Feel free to talk about whatever else we have to do today that is not related to sex organs.”

“That's a great idea,” Shiro cleared his throat.  "The ship is approaching an asteroid cluster where we tracked a supply ship possibly plotted to rendezvous with the Galra. We’ll suit up and investigate. Our mission is to observe what sort of transaction is happening, but we will not engage them.”

“Sounds like I'm up.” Pidge announced after the final bite of breakfast.

“Yes, the Green Lion while cloaked will be able to get closest and scan the passengers and cargo. Red Lion will shadow the position from the edge to cover if any enemies detect us. The rest of us will be ready to run interference if the ship does anything unexpected.”

“Yes, sir”

“Alright, let’s do this.”

“Oh maaaaaan, as soon as we get back, I'm taking a nap.”

Shiro was content and the team was on task and ready to get to work. Within ten minutes they were all suited up and heading toward the hall where they split ways to each of the hangars.

Keith noticed Lance dragging his feet and slowed himself enough to match his teammate’s pace, Lance didn't react and when he approached the blue corridor, he turned to part ways.  

Before Keith thought deeply enough to hold back, he reached out and caught Lance by one elbow.

“Wh-what?” Lance kept his voice hushed, aiming not to attract the others’ attention.

Something was most certainly weighing on Lance’s mind and Keith felt a pang of frustration for not knowing what. He stepped up close enough that he could smell the soap Lance had probably used less than 30 minutes ago.  That likely didn't help either of them keep calm.  

 

“After this mission, I'm going to stay in the hangar with Red. Meet me there when you get back.”

Lance likely tried to conceal the first thought that came to mind when he imagined being alone in the hangar with the Red Paladin; he swallowed before he spoke.

“Why not just meet at my room again after we change out?”

“We need to talk before anything else. Just come there first.”

“But we can talk after we come inside, I mean--”

“ _Meet me in my hangar._ ”

Keith realized he was being overly insistent, but he might not have realized his voice held the same tone as the when he told Lance to get out of his room. In that same way, Lance met his eyes and Keith recalled the last time that happened-- his teammate did not actually get out of the room. Keith sincerely hoped Lance wouldn't leave him waiting after the mission was complete.

Lance stared into him just a tic longer than Keith was comfortable, then nodded.

“See you when we get back.”

Keith stepped away without any other fuss, then Lance jogged down the blue corridor.

Then Keith stood for just a moment, internally shaking off the uncertainty, before he ran towards the red corridor.  In his mind, Keith was sure he would be able to clear up whatever doused Lance with such a glum mood. However somewhere in his gut he was still uncertain.

By the time he got to his lion, Keith could hardly wait to be finished and back again, but with that the only five humans were out in an asteroid cluster starting a new mission.

**Author's Note:**

> Well...... 
> 
>  
> 
> That supply ship turns out to be a trap and the mission devolves into a search and rescue, meaning it'll be more than nine hours before they get back to the castle.
> 
> Keith will be the last to return, still unsure about whether Lance would come to the Red hangar... but after all of this he's had a reeeeaally stressful day and he is really, reeeaally hoping the Blue Paladin will be waiting for him. 
> 
> // The two of them will have something important to sort out in the next part. Feel free to message if I mis-tagged or missed any tags. Thanks for reading. *:･ﾟ✧


End file.
